SUBSCRIBER SHOUT-OUTS
I’m honored to recognize more of my paid subscribers today, including Cathy from California! And Elisabetta, my co-chorister in Checcoro here in Milan! And Luke & Georgy from California! I’m grateful for your support of my writing.
(PS: I still have some paid subscribers who have not gotten back to me regarding whether they’re okay with me thanking them publicly, and if so, in what form. If that’s you, please look back through your inbox for an email or two from me. Thanks!)
Last December 31st, with just a few hours left in 2023, I published a piece called Hope & Dread. I’ll quote some excerpts from it here, but I’d encourage you to go back and read the full piece, because it still rings very true.
Though I live thousands of miles away from the land of my birth, for better or worse I am still very attuned to what is happening there. And I’m sorry to say that I think all the ingredients are in place for 2024 to be a very, very, very difficult year for the United States. I think it may well be the roughest year we’ve faced in my lifetime, which means more or less since the 1960s. I think our country and its systems and institutions are likely to be tested in ways we can’t even really allow ourselves to imagine right now—at a time when our social fabric is already tearing at the seams.
I have found myself living in a state of ongoing alarm about my country. I feel like the ground is shifting beneath our feet, and far too many people seem to simply not be paying attention. No less than former Republican congresswoman Liz Cheney—daughter of former Republican Vice President Dick Cheney—is loudly sounding the alarm that the United States seems to be sleepwalking into dictatorship.
I fear we’re headed into an increasingly violent future, and by the time most people tune in and realize how out of control things have gotten, it may well be too late. The wheels are in motion; the question is simply whether the brakes will fail.
It’s not hard to see why people are anxious, and angry, and afraid, and exhausted. We’ve been through an awful lot over the last eight years; the stakes have been so high for so long, and they just seem to keep getting higher. Our brains and bodies were simply never meant to live like this.
One thing I plan to do here next year is create a "2024 Survival Guide.” It’s for all of you, but it’s also very much for me; I need to have a resource I can quickly turn to to right myself, to remind myself of concrete ways I can make my life the best it can be, and of how I can nurture and grow my relationships within my community.
Somehow more than six months have passed since I wrote that. So how’s everybody doing?
I last published here on May 25th. At the time, I fully intended to be back very soon. I had, in fact, created an editorial calendar that took me through much of the rest of the year. I had so many ideas, so many things I wanted to talk about.
But I’ve not been doing great for much of the last six weeks. Some amazing things have happened for me in that time1, but also some very difficult things, including the grave illness of a loved one that has taken me and my husband out of Italy multiple times over the last month or so. But that is not why I’m a writer who has not been writing. I have not been writing because I have been down. Or struggling. Or languishing. Or depressed. It doesn’t matter what I call it, because the reality is simply that I have been my own worst enemy, as I am unfortunately rather prone to do, and I’ve allowed myself to wallow and wither instead of write.2
Sono io, ciao, il problema sono io, sono io.
I have been thinking about writing every day—literally—since May 25th. But the more time that passed, the harder it became to sit down and do it.
Then, while I was already falling down on the job, a consultant whose expertise I’m paying for (specifically to attempt to grow my audience here on Substack!) said two things that really punched me in the gut:
Personal essays are a difficult fit for Substack.
Research shows most readers will not get past the first few hundred words of a post. Only a small percentage will finish a piece of 1,000 words or more.
Needless to say, as a writer of longer-form personal essays, neither of those things were what I wanted to hear at the time, and they only sent me into a tighter tailspin.
But enough about me. I said all that to explain, albeit rather vaguely, why I’ve been failing to deliver words to my subscribers. But I also said it because it reinforces the truth of what I wrote on December 31st. I really do need a “Survival Guide” to turn to when I start to flounder—or founder.
This publication is not primarily a self-help newsletter3, but I do expect that a good number of the pieces I publish over the next few months will touch on personal development and well being, because that is my greatest need right now. And I suspect it is also very relevant to many of you, because a lot of things in our world feel very intense right now.
Speaking of intense…this was me three years ago, the day I had my first anxiety attack. In hindsight, it was really pretty mild—The Big One wouldn’t hit me until six months later—but it was enough that my doctor told me over the phone that I should go to Urgent Care so they could run some tests “just to make sure everything is okay.” (Given that this came 10 months after a longtime friend of mine dropped dead of a heart attack at 52, this was no idle suggestion.)
I hope to never make another such trip to the doctor. And I hope the same for you. So let’s do our best to make that true.
I’ll be back soon with some of my own ideas for how to survive—and hopefully even thrive—in 2024 and beyond. But first I want to share below some of the comments I received from readers of Hope & Dread. They offered some great suggestions! I trust something in here connects with you.
BEKA wrote:
I think the best way to survive, collectively, is for each of us to find a way to thrive, personally. It’s Mary Oliver all over again: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
As for me, and my noticing and paying attention and caring for myself, I have found it is to write at least one poem each month. I engage differently with the world when I engage through the eyes of a poet. There are no rules to share the poems or follow some form or meter. It’s just to notice, and to put the noticing down on paper (or screen).
BRENNA wrote:
Something changed for me in the pandemic when I was living alone and so scared. I just decided I have to live well despite what’s going on around me. I think I realized my being unwell is not helping me fix these broken institutions. I believe it to be a radical act - living well despite all of this ultimately gives you more energy to aid those around you.
RUTH wrote:
Taking a nap..it allows me to 'escape' for a short time, thus refreshing my mind.
Volunteering: letting my small light shine in its small way by helping others.
Seeking balance...staying informed about but not overwhelmed by the 'wrongs' present in the world.
Making healthy choices--eating right, adequate sleep, daily exercise.
Setting boundaries: speaking truth, protecting myself.
Meditation and prayer
CLAUDIA wrote:
I go daily for an hour walk (or bike ride) in the forest.
I go out for a spontaneous Aperitivo with friends in the evening.
I nurture friendships, as I see them as one of the most important things in life.
I think, read, and write about Paying Attention - which means for me: 1) to pay attention to your own well-being, 2) taking care of others (loved ones and people around you) and 3) paying attention to the world around you. Be aware! (Photography is a great way to pay attention to your surroundings).
ANNE wrote:
Physically...I like to take a daily walk, outdoors. Walking by myself is when I do my best thinking, but I also much enjoy talking with a friend while walking. And eating healthy food is essential for me, as is not drinking alcohol.
Emotionally...I like to read, so I look for whatever appeals to me or has been recommended by a friend. Also, relaxing and resting are key to being refreshed and refilled. And recognizing when I need outside help, and pursuing it until I find the therapist I want.
Relationally...I need to spend time with people I love, who love me. And I also must make sure I don't isolate. I need to get out and reach out. A circle of support, both family and friends, is crucial for me.
Spiritually...this is the area that is most fulfilling for me. I'm looking for life, hope, inner peace, contentment, identity, meaning and purpose, and motivation to continue. I have not been able to find these except in the One Who created me and has the ability to satisfy my heart.
ANTON wrote:
I’d love an app that helps me keep track of me taking care of myself, that offers me tips for when I'm floundering, and and helps me keep track of what I’m doing right when I’m doing well. I should be able to establish different spheres in which I want to track progress whether that’s Emotional, Spiritual, Physical, Mental or more specific goals such as Working on Family Relationships, Money Management, Weight Management etc. It should ideally facilitate graphical feedback, displaying one’s progress over time, whether that’s a daily record of me scoring myself in any of the aforementioned areas such as registering my mood on a scale of 1-10 over the last week, month or year. The ability to integrate AI functionality for tips and feedback could be significant. Done well, this could be a vital tool…especially in the face of so much uncertainty and instability. Does this already exist? Dunno. (I don’t know either. Do any of my readers? -Michael)
What about you?
How do you take care of yourself? What really works for you, especially in times of high stress or anxiety? These can be big or small ideas; they don’t have to be dramatic. I welcome any and all suggestions, slogans, quotes, resources, tips and tricks. You can just reply to this email if you are one of my email subscribers (which I hope you are!), or you can comment below if you’re reading this on the Substack website or app. I’ll compile a sampling of the feedback I receive and incorporate it into future posts.
Last thing before I go: My husband shared an article with me recently that I found to be very inspiring, so if you could use a little more hope in humanity right now, please check it out. (This is a gift link from my WaPo subscription, so you can read it for free.)
I’ll close once again with a reminder that Joyce Vance always uses at the end of her newsletter, and that I never fail to find comforting: We’re in this together.
Indeed we are. Be safe and well.
-Michael
PS: Thank you to everyone who donated to our “Give Trump the Boot” matching fundraiser. You all contributed $1,670, which my husband and I matched, meaning a total of $3,340 for Democrats Abroad Italy!
Suffice it to say that I don’t know for certain the best way forward in this particularly fraught Will-Biden-Drop-Out? moment we’re living in, but I do know that a corrupt man like Donald Trump (who’s now calling for televised military tribunals for his “treasonous” political enemy, Liz Cheney) must never be allowed near the Oval Office again. So grazie tutti to everyone who donated! We’ll keep doing our part to get out the vote of Americans living in Italy!
PPS: I shot the photos featured in this post in February 2022 in Joshua Tree National Park, California, USA.
As one small example, I was invited to sit on a jury for a photography competition in 2025. This is something beyond my dreams, quite literally: I never even thought of such a thing as a possibility. And now it’s happening!
Writing really is the best of times and the worst of times, all at the same time. As LaDonna Witmer wrote in Homework 'til the Day You Die, “We love writing. We hate it. We can’t stop. We can’t get started. We fear the blank page. We crave it. We wish it were over. We can’t wait to begin.”
Elin Petronella recently wrote, “I thought I was in the art business. But I’m not. I’m in the well-being business. I make my art for me and you to feel better.” That sounds about right to me.
Woke up this morning to the news about the shooter at the Trump rally. Then I read some of the dreadful comments. I am more and more convinced that he'll win. Between that, Gaza, Ukraine, the environment, and the concomitant world-wide lurch toward religious authoritarianism ("The world is scary! Tell me what to do, Giant Sky Daddy!!") and I feel precisely like I'm in a nightmare I can't wake up from. I've never been so relieved to have not had children, but then... so many of my beloved friends DO have them, and I want their lives to be so much better than I fear they will be.
So just this morning, I was wishing I could read something that helped me feel less alone, and here you are with this post! Thanks, Michael. Hang in there. XO
Many of us are feeling the same things. I'm starting to believe that the US Presidential Election actually will NOT happen. I'm not sure Biden will even serve his full term - I think he may be removed using the 25th or possibly die. Another dire warning bell is the US currency system. I don't think the US dollar will be phased out, I think there will be an emergency that puts a new system in place in a rush, probably crypto, but who knows if it will work? Maybe we should all buy silver. Skilled astrologers are saying the entire world will be affected by something soon, but America's reign is coming to end. Corrupt systems will be exposed, dismantled and the people will create the new earth. Hold on to your fedoras, folks. Though days of darkness lay ahead, do not give in to fear. Raise your vibration through love.