I spent several years wanting to drink less only to end up drinking more. Looking back, my biggest clue that I had a problem was how much time and energy I spent analyzing, justifying, negotiating with drinking. I quit completely 4 years ago at age 55. My only regret is that I didn’t quit sooner.
Love this idea! I think I’m already doing it unintentionally. My partying, binge-drinking days have been long gone. I’m turning 40 this fall and have been noticing lately how shitty alcohol makes me feel (mainly the next day), even if it’s just 2 beers! It’s not worth it. I’d much rather have a clear mind than the foggy post-alcohol brain. BUT I also love the occasional little buzz. In particular (which seems so counterintuitive), I love sipping a cold beer after sports. It’s something I picked up since living in the Netherlands. Being active and sporty is big here, but socializing over a few beers right after is the norm. I do that most Sundays when I play padel with friends. I might try keeping a record for the rest of 2025!
Thank you for sharing your journey...it’s both inspiring and relatable! I’ve been trying to cut back on alcohol too, and replacing it with coffee or tea ( specially from singapore https://lihomenu.sg/ ) has been a comforting alternative. Speaking of which, I’ve become absolutely addicted to LiHO Tea recently...it’s my go-to treat. I appreciate your honesty about the challenges and unexpected benefits of this experiment. Best of luck with the 2025 challenge and excited to hear how it goes
I’ve never been much of a drinker (see alcoholism and addictive personality over here too, cousin), and the less-than-handful of times I’ve been drunk have all been from that social pressure you mentioned. I now have multiple friends who have acknowledged they are alcoholics, with at least two of them going actively involved in AA. Sitting in the AA space with them (once joining my friend at her first meeting—which she has credited with saving her life; the other joining to celebrate her two years sober meeting) and hearing the stories of people and what alcoholism has stolen from them…and then becoming hyper aware of how normalized alcoholism is in the United States is quite eye opening. I find myself going longer and longer between drinks, generally choosing to imbibe instead on a fountain Coke at a restaurant when friends are getting a drink. That can be my empty calories.
Also, I was shocked during the pandemic how many commercials and social media posts and virtual events became about coping with a glass of wine or four. Shocked. And that was before my friends revealed their alcoholism. I would not be surprised if alcoholism in the US doubled in women who are mothers of young children. We were almost pushed into it by all the marketing pressures. It was alarming. We all need coping mechanisms, but might I suggest journaling or reading or something that won’t steal your joy in the long term?
Thanks for sharing your story, Michael. Your vulnerability may save lives.
I really enjoyed this piece, Michael! I’m in my mid-30s, and similar to you, experienced a “delayed adolescence” in my mid-20s. About 5 years ago I realized I felt pretty terrible after even one drink. I remember one evening my partner and I were staying at a lovely guest cottage behind a family member’s cabin. It should have been a lovely, cozy evening. I had a glass of wine that evening and went to bed feeling sad for no reason, and woke up the next day depressed and lethargic, and despondent at the fact that now the time had been wasted. I’ve been drinking less and less since then, and can count on both hands the number of drinks I had in 2024 (not that I’ve been counting, but I have been frequently consciously choosing not to drink). I have fully embraced mocktails and kombucha as a stand-in, and my body and brain thank me for it all the time!
Thank-you for writing about this. It is affirming to hear about experiences like yours, and I wish you all the best on your 52 drink journey!
I loved this, Michael — thanks to my then-partner sounding the alarm on how it was creeping up on me, I stopped completely 5/23/2018 and have never regretted it. Managed to go through getting dumped by my partner of 23 years without drinking, and the 2+!years since have only confirmed that being sober heightens everything good about life. Happy New Year!
I spent over 20 years of my adult life, from my early 20s to my mid-40s, not drinking. This was because I was involved in a Christian ministry in the inner city that dealt with a lot of substance abusers, and it was just a better idea to adopt a “no drinking” lifestyle. Which I didn’t mind at all at the time. Then later when I had moved on, I spent about 15 years moderately drinking, mostly craft beer. I had mostly good times, but now in my early 60s I’ve decided to pursue better health, and for now that’s going to not include alcohol. I haven’t really made any grand announcement to family and friends, but I’m leaning pretty strongly toward not drinking for good. Over the last year I cut way back, and since August I’ve been pretty much alcohol free. I had a few a couple months ago, and afterward just wished i hadn’t. I wasn’t hung over, nothing bad happened, I just didn’t enjoy it much. And right now, when i think about having a beer or glass of wine, I just don’t feel the same attraction. I’d like to think I’ll have a clearer head, maybe less depression or anxiety, some kind of positive emotional effect, but so far I haven’t seen it. I don’t currently have any alcohol related health problems. But I think I’m going to just continue to abstain, because I don’t see anything positive from going back to it.
I’m 54, only drank socially and with rare exception, drank moderately. But I don’t tolerate alcohol like I once did and most importantly, felt for several years that my body was telling me to stop. So effective January 1, I did. I returned this weekend from a celebratory milestone weekend for a friend and didn’t have a single drop (even when doing karaoke) except for what was in the boozy tiramisu which is entirely defendable in my mind. FOMO surfaced for only five minutes and I was so glad to awake each morning and not have to deal with a hangover in any shape or form. The only exception I can foresee is if I want to try something while traveling.
Yeah, listening to our bodies. So basic, and yet for some reason (for me) so consistently difficult! Good for you for this new commitment. Let me know how it goes!
I turn 50 in August and all I can think of is... I want to drink less (maybe 50 total drinks? LOL) in the months leading up to it. Its a strange sensation, looking at the back half of life, and how sober do I want to be? This article is wonderful. Thank you.
Thank you, cousin. I think you are right that using alcohol to cope—especially "glamorous" alcohol like wine and cocktails—is glorified throughout culture. It's something that I wish people would be more conscious of, though I have to admit I've done the same in the past. But it's good to always be learning and changing and adapting and growing. Big hugs to you!
I spent several years wanting to drink less only to end up drinking more. Looking back, my biggest clue that I had a problem was how much time and energy I spent analyzing, justifying, negotiating with drinking. I quit completely 4 years ago at age 55. My only regret is that I didn’t quit sooner.
Thanks Teri, I think this is an interesting observation. Definitely sounds like you made the right decision! Congrats on four years sober.
Love this idea! I think I’m already doing it unintentionally. My partying, binge-drinking days have been long gone. I’m turning 40 this fall and have been noticing lately how shitty alcohol makes me feel (mainly the next day), even if it’s just 2 beers! It’s not worth it. I’d much rather have a clear mind than the foggy post-alcohol brain. BUT I also love the occasional little buzz. In particular (which seems so counterintuitive), I love sipping a cold beer after sports. It’s something I picked up since living in the Netherlands. Being active and sporty is big here, but socializing over a few beers right after is the norm. I do that most Sundays when I play padel with friends. I might try keeping a record for the rest of 2025!
Last night I had my 8th drink of 2025 and I regret it today. Just sat down to lunch and ordered a non-alcoholic Stella!
Enjoy!
Thank you for sharing your journey...it’s both inspiring and relatable! I’ve been trying to cut back on alcohol too, and replacing it with coffee or tea ( specially from singapore https://lihomenu.sg/ ) has been a comforting alternative. Speaking of which, I’ve become absolutely addicted to LiHO Tea recently...it’s my go-to treat. I appreciate your honesty about the challenges and unexpected benefits of this experiment. Best of luck with the 2025 challenge and excited to hear how it goes
Thanks Kemilya! Best to you in 2025.
I’ve never been much of a drinker (see alcoholism and addictive personality over here too, cousin), and the less-than-handful of times I’ve been drunk have all been from that social pressure you mentioned. I now have multiple friends who have acknowledged they are alcoholics, with at least two of them going actively involved in AA. Sitting in the AA space with them (once joining my friend at her first meeting—which she has credited with saving her life; the other joining to celebrate her two years sober meeting) and hearing the stories of people and what alcoholism has stolen from them…and then becoming hyper aware of how normalized alcoholism is in the United States is quite eye opening. I find myself going longer and longer between drinks, generally choosing to imbibe instead on a fountain Coke at a restaurant when friends are getting a drink. That can be my empty calories.
Also, I was shocked during the pandemic how many commercials and social media posts and virtual events became about coping with a glass of wine or four. Shocked. And that was before my friends revealed their alcoholism. I would not be surprised if alcoholism in the US doubled in women who are mothers of young children. We were almost pushed into it by all the marketing pressures. It was alarming. We all need coping mechanisms, but might I suggest journaling or reading or something that won’t steal your joy in the long term?
Thanks for sharing your story, Michael. Your vulnerability may save lives.
I really enjoyed this piece, Michael! I’m in my mid-30s, and similar to you, experienced a “delayed adolescence” in my mid-20s. About 5 years ago I realized I felt pretty terrible after even one drink. I remember one evening my partner and I were staying at a lovely guest cottage behind a family member’s cabin. It should have been a lovely, cozy evening. I had a glass of wine that evening and went to bed feeling sad for no reason, and woke up the next day depressed and lethargic, and despondent at the fact that now the time had been wasted. I’ve been drinking less and less since then, and can count on both hands the number of drinks I had in 2024 (not that I’ve been counting, but I have been frequently consciously choosing not to drink). I have fully embraced mocktails and kombucha as a stand-in, and my body and brain thank me for it all the time!
Thank-you for writing about this. It is affirming to hear about experiences like yours, and I wish you all the best on your 52 drink journey!
Thank you for sharing this, Cynthia. It helps to know other people are coming to similar conclusions!
I loved this, Michael — thanks to my then-partner sounding the alarm on how it was creeping up on me, I stopped completely 5/23/2018 and have never regretted it. Managed to go through getting dumped by my partner of 23 years without drinking, and the 2+!years since have only confirmed that being sober heightens everything good about life. Happy New Year!
That's amazing, Carolyn. Thank you for sharing this. And congrats! Happy New Year to you as well.
Michael, thanks for writing this! It resonates so much. The less I drink, the more I enjoy not drinking. I may keep a count this year too!
I spent over 20 years of my adult life, from my early 20s to my mid-40s, not drinking. This was because I was involved in a Christian ministry in the inner city that dealt with a lot of substance abusers, and it was just a better idea to adopt a “no drinking” lifestyle. Which I didn’t mind at all at the time. Then later when I had moved on, I spent about 15 years moderately drinking, mostly craft beer. I had mostly good times, but now in my early 60s I’ve decided to pursue better health, and for now that’s going to not include alcohol. I haven’t really made any grand announcement to family and friends, but I’m leaning pretty strongly toward not drinking for good. Over the last year I cut way back, and since August I’ve been pretty much alcohol free. I had a few a couple months ago, and afterward just wished i hadn’t. I wasn’t hung over, nothing bad happened, I just didn’t enjoy it much. And right now, when i think about having a beer or glass of wine, I just don’t feel the same attraction. I’d like to think I’ll have a clearer head, maybe less depression or anxiety, some kind of positive emotional effect, but so far I haven’t seen it. I don’t currently have any alcohol related health problems. But I think I’m going to just continue to abstain, because I don’t see anything positive from going back to it.
I’m 54, only drank socially and with rare exception, drank moderately. But I don’t tolerate alcohol like I once did and most importantly, felt for several years that my body was telling me to stop. So effective January 1, I did. I returned this weekend from a celebratory milestone weekend for a friend and didn’t have a single drop (even when doing karaoke) except for what was in the boozy tiramisu which is entirely defendable in my mind. FOMO surfaced for only five minutes and I was so glad to awake each morning and not have to deal with a hangover in any shape or form. The only exception I can foresee is if I want to try something while traveling.
It’s all uphill from here. Onward!
Yeah, listening to our bodies. So basic, and yet for some reason (for me) so consistently difficult! Good for you for this new commitment. Let me know how it goes!
I turn 50 in August and all I can think of is... I want to drink less (maybe 50 total drinks? LOL) in the months leading up to it. Its a strange sensation, looking at the back half of life, and how sober do I want to be? This article is wonderful. Thank you.
Thank you! I say go for it, and then come back and let me know how it goes!
Insightful piece!
Thank you, cousin. I think you are right that using alcohol to cope—especially "glamorous" alcohol like wine and cocktails—is glorified throughout culture. It's something that I wish people would be more conscious of, though I have to admit I've done the same in the past. But it's good to always be learning and changing and adapting and growing. Big hugs to you!
I've just realized that last year was Leap Year, which means my subtitle should read "A 366-day experiment in drinking less" :)